I’ve been on about 5 dates with this woman that I really enjoy being around. She’s beautiful, has a great personality, funny, intelligent and seems like a down to earth person. Over the course of dates there is 1 thing that has been concerning me. Everything seems to be great except this 1 thing. I’m seriously wondering if I should continue to invest into her. I’m planning on having a conversation with her about it. This issue maybe deep rooted in chemistry. I plan on communicating the below letter to her over a call.
Debra Physical
I want to first start off by saying this, whenever it comes to building a connection between two people, we both must ensure that connection is mutually beneficial to both people involved. I would also assume that you agree that in order to keep someone in your life it may require you to do certain things that make them happy, correct?
For the most part, I enjoyed spending time with you on our last date at Sweetwater Creek. I must be honest with you though. 1 thing that concerned me was towards the end when you and I were sitting in your car afterward. I came in for a hug and it was rejected. You revealed to me that it’s not possible for you to give me a hug. I’ve also noticed that over the course of the dates that we’ve been on, I don’t think you’ve ever given me a genuine hug. It always feels awkward and which leads me to believe that you just don’t want to be there. I know that you probably don’t think this is a big deal and I should be okay with it, but I want you to try to understand this from my perspective.
I must let you know that the main reason I invest my money, energy, attention, and time into a woman is because there is something special that I see in her. You seem to be an attractive, funny, intelligent, respectful woman with a heart of gold. The experiences that we’ve shared together are things that I don’t do for every woman. When I’m dating a woman, I tend to only give a quality level of attention to rare women that I meet in my life.
The way I typically show appreciation for a woman I’m dating is to generally give them a hug. If you look at this issue from a higher level, it asks a deeper question related to me and you being physically comfortable around each other. The last thing I want to do is to make you feel uncomfortable around me. With that being said, I also feel uncomfortable when a woman is not physically open around me. So, at this point we both must ask ourselves 1 question…can we fix this? Is there anything that can be done for you to become more physically comfortable around me? Is this something that you feel is 100% not possible? I need to know this so I can determine the steps I need to take moving forward.
I just want to know from your perspective, if we continue to spend time together, will you ever be physically comfortable around me? Is it always going to be like this? We both need to honestly ask ourselves this powerful question:
Are we both committed to fulfilling each other’s wants and needs in order to continue to maintain a place in the other person’s life?
Whenever we spend time together and share these amazing experiences, I naturally want to hug you. If the things that I naturally want to do whenever I’m around you are always being suppressed, it’s probably best to remove myself from a situation where I can’t authentically be myself. I’m not the type of guy who is ever going to try to force a connection. I ultimately just want to truly understand what the reality of the situation so I can determine whether I need to continue to invest my time into you or walk away.
The reality of the situation
- You’re uncomfortable hugging me
- I’m not motivated to continue to invest any more attention into a woman who is not physically open to me.
Are you open to finding ways to become more physically comfortable around me?
Yes – All right, we are going to work on this and have more conversations about this. But in my mind, this is currently a top priority. The reason this is important is because it will allow us to both understand our motivations behind spending time with each other.
No – No problem at all. If you ever change, you’re mind about hugging or discussing ways in which you can become more physically comfortable around me let me know, you have my number. I just feel if you’re not physically comfortable around me now, it’s just going to cause problems later. There is just this feeling in my gut that says if we can’t come to a compromise on this now, as a disciplined man I know I must walk away. The only way we will be able to spend more time together is if you are open to finding ways to become more physically comfortable around me in the future.
If you are not open to compromise on this, I just want to say, I wish you all the best in all your future friendships, relationships, and all your future endeavors. I’ll never forget you. Take care.
*Let me know what you guys think in the comments. Would love you hear your take on this or stories if you’ve experienced something like this before
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